Up until a few weeks ago, I had been exclusively pumping since Blaire was about 3
weeks old. She did great nursing, though it was painful due to blisters that
developed (more painful than any moment of my c-section recovery) and but she
wasn’t able to keep up with my production so there was another painful aspect
for me. I understand that if I had just dealt with the engorgement and let my
body regulate itself, instead of pumping the excess, I probably wouldn’t be the
overproducer that I have been. However, this overproduction is what has to
allowed me to wean at 6 months and still be able to provide breast milk to our
daughter until she’s a year old…or very close to it. As of today, I have about 5,000 ounces in the deep freezer.
At first, I worried that
with my overproduction there would be a hind/foremilk imbalance or that she
wasn’t getting enough fat out of my milk, but I think that is a silly worry
considering she is over 18 lbs, which puts her in the 75% for weight!
She’s getting everything she needs and more from my milk! To put it in
perspective, Bryce was 8 months before he weighed as much.
There’s
no doubt exclusively pumping required sacrifices and is A LOT of work! I’ve
had to sacrifice extra time I could spend playing with my 4 year old son, time
I could spend with my husband, the times I could have held Blaire while giving
her a bottle instead of giving the bottle to her in her boppy, time I could
spend sleeping instead of going to bed at 10pm, after my last pump of the day,
then waking up at 4:30am for the first pump, time at work when there’s TONS of
work to be done…pretty much my point is that the time I’ve spend pumping could
have easily been used somewhere else. Also let’s not forget about the time spent hand
washing pump parts, which thankfully Nic did 95% of the time.
I
worried that with another child it would be far more challenging to do than it
was the first time. I truly expected it to be nearly impossible having Bryce to
look after also. We found our routine and got in a rhythm and just decided
there was no other option than to make it work.
It was not done without having a good purpose; this is something that is
benefiting our daughter, though she still managed to be sick for about a month
straight which was a little disappointing considering my efforts, but I guess
breast milk is not the glass bubble that we’d like it to be. After all, she is
exposed to far more germs than Bryce ever was at this age.
Before
I proceed on about the guilt I’ve had to work through, I’ll share a few of my
best tips and items that I feel made this journey successful.
Support: First and foremost
the support from my husband has been the biggest contributing factor. I think a
lot of the success is mental determination, and if you’re not getting positive
reinforcement you can’t be as determined as needed. I think he’s quite proud and
impressed with my ability to feed our child with my body, and has no qualms
about sharing/bragging about our freezer stash. Though I know he gets tired of
hearing “I need to pump” and is looking forward to the accomplishment of our
goals as much as I am.
Medela
Pump In Style Advanced (PISA) – Metro Bag: With Bryce I used the Medela
Freestyle and loved the freedom that came with the smaller pump. Unfortunately,
when I got the Freestyle out to use it I found that the power cord would no
longer charge the battery, in fact the pump wouldn’t even recognize that it was
plugged in. I knew my sister had replaced the battery and actually there was
still a little life on the battery where I was able to determine that the pump
itself still worked. I purchased a new cord in hopes that was my problem, but
it wasn’t. So I called Medela and after a little troubleshooting and discussion
with them, I was pretty much stuck with having to purchase a new pump. I guess
after using it for 9 months myself, and then my sister using it for 6 was about
all that she had in her. Since I loved the freedom of the Freestyle, but was
tempted by the popularity and great reviews for the PISA. Ultimately, I decided
on the PISA - Metro Bag. The pump in the Metro Bag was removable and also came
with a battery pack to make it mobile. However, the suction was noticeably less
with the battery pack, so I didn’t really used it much. If my car didn’t have
a AC outlet, I probably would have used the battery pack a lot or purchased the
car adapter.
Pumpin’
Pals:
Since I was pregnant with Bryce I have been an avid Baby Center forum lurker.
One of the boards I follow is The Exclusive Pumpers board. The women on this
board are some of the most supportive I’ve seen on Baby Center and are always
providing a wealth of information. One item I found highly recommended were the
Pumpin’ Pals shields in place of the Medela ones. They claim these shields
mimic a nursing baby. With my Freestyle I had SoftFit shields, which I LOVED.
Unfortunately those were discontinued by Medela. So I was dealing with the
uncomfortable shields as the only option that Medela had this time around…until
I learned of the Pumpin’ Pals. At first I wasn’t sure they were all they cut
out to be; they were definitely more comfortable but I didn’t find that they
helped increase output or decrease my pumping time. I really didn’t care about
the increase in output as that was and is not an issue for me, in fact it seemed
to lower my output initially, but to be able to decrease the time I spent
pumping was something I definitely wanted. Somedays I found that the time I spend
pumping decreased, but some days I didn't really thinks it was any less time
than would have been with the normal shields. However, I had to commit to only
using the Pumpin’ Pals to really see them create the output comparable to the
Medela shield. I guess I was confusing my body and found that it responded much
better to them when I chose to use them exclusively. Whether they increased
output or decreased time, I don’t care because they were definitely more
comfortable.
Other
tips:
Purchase
spare parts. We had to wash bottles and pump parts once a day and if I hadn't had the spares I had we’d had done it a lot more. Yes, there are things that
can be done to avoid washing the parts every time they’re used, such as storing
the parts in the refrigerator between uses (which I did when I was pumping 7
times a day). Also Medela has some wipes that can be used to clean the parts,
they just have to air dry for 10 minutes before being used again. I used
this method when I was out and about and when I didn’t want to pack a lot. I also used them for
work, while I was using one set, I’d clean a second set to be used on the next
pump.
Guilt
can be so complex. It can hold a large amount of power over me and yet I want
to handle it by just ignoring it. Unfortunately I couldn't ignore the guilt I felt since I felt guilt coming from both sides when it came to my decision
to stop pumping. The guilt for stopping pumping or the guilt for the time it
takes to pump.
I’m
not saying that “I quit”, because I did not quit! My initial
goal, as it was with Bryce, was to make it 6 months. So I met my goal on time and I met my freezer stash
goal. My goal for my freezer stash was 6,000 oz, which I think peaked at closer to 6,500 oz.
I
felt guilty because I know I’m extremely blessed and I was able to do it with
little effort. I know there are so many people out there that struggle with it.
I wanted to stop just because I was ready to be done; pretty much I felt selfish.
Once I was down to 4 pumps a day it didn’t seem like such a chore
anymore. At this point, I seriously doubted my decision to quit. Then I thought about how nice it would be to not to have to pack up the pumping
bag, in addition to the diaper bag, the kids, and half the house to be gone for the day. Not to
mention the time that I would no longer take away from everyone else in my
household. Of course I worried (and still do) that something will happen to our freezer
stash. I know I had the same guilt when I was pumping for Bryce, and ultimately
decided to go another 3 months to make it to 9 months. However I only had a few
hundred ounces in the freezer…not a few THOUSAND! So it really seemed silly to
continue when I didn’t necessarily need to at this point.
Then
I felt guilty even entertaining the thought of NOT stopping, because of the
time it would continue to take away from my family. I could have easily continued
until a year, but I think for my sanity, I didn't do it. I tossed around the possibility of doing one pump a day for a while if,
and only if, I could still maintain getting 20+ ounces on that one pump. Normally, my first pump of the day produced an average of 26 oz!
When I did go down to one pump a day, I continued to pump more than 20 oz. Then with my sister being
pregnant and due in October, she joked that I should store enough for her baby
because she’s dreading pumping as well.
Up until I dropped down to 3 pumps a day, I still was getting and average of 80 oz per day! At 3 pumps per day I got an average of 60 oz per day. At 2 pumps it dropped down to 40 oz. Once I hit one pump per day, I was ready to be finished, but my body just would not give it up! I tried cabbage leaves, sage tea, and mucinex. Then I started just pumped when I became uncomfortable and I couldn't quite make it a full week. Ultimately I think a 1/4 tsp of sage mixed with V8, drank 3 times a day was what did the trick. I pumped for the last time on May 22nd.
It's bitter sweet knowing this is the last baby I will have this experience with.
